And as for you…
I feel the same exact way, i was so angry with the felt about us at times, that i made a wrong decision. Now did I act on it, no. But it wasnt right. Its not like i didnt try fixing things with you, they were supposedly fixed and we were a family, but little did i know it was facade. I was led to believe things got better, you tried to point blame on me again, through something on this blog. I gave u access to all my messages, was anything there, no. cuz i had what i wanted in life until you left. You asked why didnt i bring it up then, i was angry, i couldnt believe u left and i wasnt in the wrong. I asked to make it work again later and you denied that. You said u gave me too many chances, i remember when i left u i didnt want to come back til i saw change, but i did anyway and watched u turn around to blame me again. im a fool. but i had to admit when we werent at each others throats was when i was happy. i had my family. now i dont know what to think, i know i dont like being single much, i never was great at it. but u thought thats what i wanted. idk, maybe everyone is right and i need to find something to make me happy. but my understanding of happiness is wrong, i was happy that was what i wanted for the longest time. now i dont believe in love anymore or happiness as they both seemed to be a big lie in my mind.
