May 2010
1 post
"I ATE YOUR SOUL"
you wanna talk about stress? and the heart left hangin from a string like a necklace? I’m the guy that you’ve been warned not to mess with the farthest thing away from an emotional investment step back. girl, you don’t want this. might look good in your head but I’m a monster. caused more tears than i can even account for that drowns my soul face down when it showers. i wanna die like a rock...
January 2010
5 posts
Note to self: You have a good heart. You just make dumb decisions at times. Fix that.
“I’m tryin’a build heaven while the world’s still...”
– Slug (Felt - 20 Answers)
Nothing Boy vs The Echo Factor
Now I could sit here and baffle you With shallow babble And a bunch of punch lines You probably won’t get Or even use some big words That you’d have to look up But, I’m not a teacher So go ahead and close your book up I could tell a fairy tale so convincing And keep a straight face from beginning To happy ending I could waste 32 bars telling you how to live Knowing damn well I...
For 2 people I miss the most. RIP MJ
Welcome 2010.
There no such thing as a clean slate. But im gonna work and do everything in my power to fix what was wrong in 2009. Including myself. But heres to smiling again.
December 2009
9 posts
So long 2009 and good riddance.
A year ago today, my life was near complete and I had everything i wanted in my life. I knew exactly what I wanted to do at midnight and finally came to the conclusion this is what i wanted for the rest of my life. I proposed to the woman I was in love with and was the mother of our beautiful child. Not because of wedlock, sure we had our ups and our downs but throughout it all, this woman had me,...
If you could sum 2009 up in 2 words what would...
FUCK YOU!
P.O.S. - Do Not Stay
“This city is too small for us, I cant stay. Im packed and ready all ready. Somebody tell em that i’m gone. I’m on tour. I found someplace somewhere and moved away. Its not this bar again. I’ve always hated this place.”
“It hurts but I never show/this pain you’ll never know/if only you can see...”
– Eminem off the song Drop The World by Lil Wayne
Jaded
Dessa: Oh’s of the cigarette just to say who lights it first. All of you didn’t think the pirouettes would lift your stink? On the phone with a close friend whose name you don’t know something they became a face so sad you can’t go. It’s amazing what they let you get away with in dim lights, and it’s crazy watching you go pale in stage lights. The hand bills the...
Arrrgh...fuck you dreams.
I got the point already. Shit.
If you had one xmas wish.
Me/Rebecca/Alexis It would to be to turn back time and enjoy every moment as a family and prevent my dumb decisions.
November 2009
1 post
October 2009
4 posts
My job rocks
Thank you Job for making me feel important and that im finally succeeding with one thing in my life. The promotions and opportunities I have received or am going to receive are awesome. One step at a time, ill figure out what im doing, where im going and if my life will better itself. Its hard to work in a customer service field at times and take shit from people and keep ur cool then take shit...
Apartment Searching sucks
Lately ive been looking at studios and basically none of them right now are as interesting as the place im at now. Sure utilities are included on most studios and their a lil cheaper, but i dont know, i dont think i can just do a one room thing. After i rearranged my apt, it seemed alot bigger and nicer. IDK. theres alot stuff to look into in apartments but im finally realizing that this little...
I want to post something
but i know it will be long and emo. So i think ill just keep my head up and hope for the best.
Plastic Constellations - Bring What You Bring
...
September 2009
17 posts
And as for you...
I feel the same exact way, i was so angry with the felt about us at times, that i made a wrong decision. Now did I act on it, no. But it wasnt right. Its not like i didnt try fixing things with you, they were supposedly fixed and we were a family, but little did i know it was facade. I was led to believe things got better, you tried to point blame on me again, through something on this blog. I...
Reopening old wounds
Its been the first time in years that these old wounds that never healed were reopened. We went over friends, why i did what i did and the dreaded outcome. She was too good for me and i knew that. It was always one of those things that you wish u could go back in the past and change, if you now what u knew then. I was immature and naive to think things would ever get that bad, i was living in a...
This isnt the life I chose, rather the life that...
I dont know who i am or what i want anymore, i just know whatever it is i cant have it anymore.
“I’d much rather be happy than right, anyday.”
– The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (via filmquotes)
Kasabian - Take Aim
Nightmares, oh nightmares...
“Look lady, I’m homeless, I’m crazy
I’m so hopeless I’m suicidal daily
If you...”
– Atmosphere - The Waitress
Preparing for the worse
Nothing still going my way. As optimistic as you think, it all continues to go down hill. Maybe i should seek help, im too stubborn to lose. I know im not the greatest person in the world but i try, dammit. I wish she would take the time to sit down with me and find out where we go from here. But shes not gonna do that, she doesnt care and has done nothing but been vengeful towards me. Im sick of...
I find it funny.
You want to ex me out of your life, but yet you check to see what ive been doing and then will use it against me. I checked your blog and saw your post and responded. If you didnt want me to read you would have never reinvited me after we broke up. Sorry for adding my two cents to your long rant directed at me. I have so much more to you in person and hopefully we make progress from there so we...
Atmosphere: The Waitress Lyrics:
[Slug - Verse 1]...
So now i'm crying for sympathy?
I thought i was doing the exact opposite trying to work things out with you. Anyways, you wanna keep attacking me, how about for once you have a civil conversation with me and we work this out like adults instead of high school students, where u are gonna hold every issue u had with me over my head.
Dream
How can i sleep after that dream. Felt so real so intense, i want her back, i want to fight for my family but i feel so helpless.
It was in 2 parts, the confrontation, Where i explained myself and fought to win my family back together. And the war which involved an enlisted me.
Both were powerful and i understood their meanings. Trust me right now i would give anything to be right by daughters...
“I hope it works out like you want it to, I...
August 2009
14 posts
Nothing Left To Say
“There I was unconscious on the floor
This place I never knew departing from me I’m sure Awaiting the hand of god knowing I stand to fall I stared into the pitch black to no hand at all When your all alone and you think of home Places you may have been and who you’ve known This beauty they speak of I cannot see As I imagine as a child it’s make believe Good ideas hard to find, get one and...
Atmosphere - Pour Me Another
[Slug] All she...
Incubus - Mexico
You could see me reaching So why couldn’t you have Met me halfway You could see me bleeding But you could not put Pressure on the wound You only think about yourself You only think about yourself You’d better bend before I go On the first train to Mexico You could see me breathing But you still kept Your hand over my mouth You could feel me seething But you just turned Your nose up in...
I just feel so disconnected with everything as of late.
Im severely close to a complete breakdown
Just got another court order for something else. Ive had it, im tired of fighting. I couldnt stop it in the relationship and its affecting me outside of it. not to mention the 8 million other things that have hit me hard this week.
Gym Class Heroes/Bernie Allen - Eighty Five
It seems like lately time be beatin’ my ass, Every step is like a right hook from Iron Mike Tyson in his prime, It’s like my mind is on a tredmill, I’m sweatin’ bullets, see the plug but I can’t pull it, This belt just keeps bringin’ me back, And every minute is like a ‘tiger uppercut’ from Sagat, I’m up against these ropes, and ain’t no...
Why is it when you're in a relationship, hella...
girrawwr:
hah i always wondered about this…and always found it slight ways annoying. now though, me and my bf just find it flattering and funny…we love to joke about it :]
bartstation:
Just happens because someone aquires confidence and people are attracted to that.
But I know how it is.
(eazyduzitt)
I find it funny yet sad at the same time cuz im living proof of that example
Taking a HUGE step back
Something i dont want to do but have to. I love being back home…
Dedicated to all the broken lovers. Seems to be alot lately.
My note to you: I dont understand how u can treat someone u claimed to love and care about so maliciously. I care for you the same way i always had, so things didnt work out its not like i didnt try or try to make it so difficult for either of us in the case it was really over. But you seem to have it out for me and trying to make me...
Really!?
I had to ask what comes next? Blah.