Everyday Living.

you wanna talk about stress?
and the heart left hangin from a string like a necklace?
I’m the guy that you’ve been warned not to mess with
the farthest thing away from an emotional investment
step back.
girl, you don’t want this.
might look good in your head 
but I’m a monster.
caused more tears than i can even account for 
that drowns my soul face down when it showers.
i wanna die like a rock star
all alone in my lost thoughts
can’t live how i wanna
and spoke no lies when i told you I’m a lost cause
………….(bridge)…………
but still your gonna go and try
and show me a different life
and get eaten up alive
and say “I”

(chorus)
I ate your soul..
“and i’ll eat you up” 
“go hide for i eat to much”

I ate it whole…
“and this is what i do”
“go hide girl I’m just like you”

I ate your soul..
“and i’ll eat you up” 
“go hide for i eat to much”

I ate it whole…
“and this is what i do”
“go hide girl I’m just like you”

you wanna talk about luck?
how no body loves you and your whole life’s _____?
girl, i was born to be crushed 
and enjoy what its like to be thrown in the mud.
go. 
and never come back.
stay where the sunshines and cover your tracks
i don’t wait for the fun times and savor the laughs
i drop dead at good bye and lay straight in my casket.
i wanna live where the blood dries
a lot quicker than some like.
without a smidgen of guilt
I’m a sit right here till the next woman comes bye
………….(bridge)…………
but still your gonna go and try
and show me a different life
and get eaten up alive
and say “I”

(chorus)
I ate your soul..
“and i’ll eat you up” 
“go hide for i eat to much”

I ate it whole…
“and this is what i do”
“go hide girl I’m just like you”

I ate your soul..
“and i’ll eat you up” 
“go hide for i eat to much”

I ate it whole…
“and this is what i do”
“go hide girl I’m just like you”

Note to self: You have a good heart. You just make dumb decisions at times. Fix that.

Now I could sit here and baffle you
With shallow babble
And a bunch of punch lines
You probably won’t get
Or even use some big words
That you’d have to look up
But, I’m not a teacher
So go ahead and close your book up
I could tell a fairy tale so convincing
And keep a straight face from beginning
To happy ending
I could waste 32 bars telling you how to live
Knowing damn well I used MTV cribs for the blueprint
I could bore you to death with my past relationships
Or a little ditty bout Jack and Diane
Or I could go back to childhood
Dig up them skeletons
And spit them at you with a catchy hook
Look, I could strike a nerve with some four letter words
That’ll make Richard Pryor proud
Or better yet, I could sing a jingle
that’ll contort and mingle
Every single solitary letter in the alphabet

I could tell you whatever you want to hear
But if I just said hello would you listen to me?
I could sell a blind man new ears
If I just said hello would you listen to me?
I’m trying hard trying to make it perfectly clear
But I’m dying because their ain’t nobody listening to me
Been relying on myself on myself for more than 22 years
And I ain’t crying I just need someone to listen to me
Breaker, breaker can I get some reply get maybe some kind of sign
to let me know that you’re listening to me?
Just from time to time I get lost in my mind
Its hard to find someone to listen to me
My ears were open when you needed some consoling
Now I’m hoping to hear something besides echoes
Every time I say hello

I could talk about my duds
And my thrift store scores
But that probably wouldn’t interest you
But why should it
I mean, I’ve seen a lot of shit in 22 years
But your feet in my shoes isn’t something I recall
And I’ve been known to drink 22 beers
Before a show cuz
otherwise I probably wouldn’t have the balls
I could make references to books I never read
For the sake of sounding conscious
But, that’s just obnoxious
I could take off these bandages and
Expose these papercuts
And put them in the air
with both my middle fingers up
or talk about myself in third person
like I’m better than you
cuz there’s nothing else better to do
I could attack your character from
Eighty different angles
Cleverly explaining exactly how wack you are
But why do that when it’s a well known fact
you buying this cd is potentially feeding me
(come on)

I could tell you whatever you want to hear
But if I just said hello would you listen to me?
I could sell a blind man new ears
If I just said hello would you listen to me?
I’m trying hard trying to make it perfectly clear
But I’m dying because their ain’t nobody listening to me
Been relying on myself on myself for more than 22 years
And I ain’t crying I just need someone to listen to me
Breaker, breaker can I get some reply get maybe some kind of sign
to let me know that you’re listening to me?
Just from time to time I get lost in my mind
Its hard to find someone to listen to me
My ears were open when you needed some consoling
I’m hoping to hear something besides echoes
(Every time I say hello)

Hello, is there anybody out there?
Hello, is there anybody out there?
Hello, is there anybody out there?
Hello, is there anybody out there?
Hello, is there anybody out there?

There no such thing as a clean slate. But im gonna work and do everything in my power to fix what was wrong in 2009. Including myself. But heres to smiling again.

A year ago today, my life was near complete and I had everything i wanted in my life. I knew exactly what I wanted to do at midnight and finally came to the conclusion this is what i wanted for the rest of my life. I proposed to the woman I was in love with and was the mother of our beautiful child. Not because of wedlock, sure we had our ups and our downs but throughout it all, this woman had me, theres was so much that was perfect about her. I can tell you a year ago I wasn’t in the best of places, i made alot dumb decisions. Things you wish u can take back and do them over but time doesnt allow that.

As were approaching the new year, i wish for things to become better in my life, her life, Rebeccas life more importantly. I wish i could experience another new years like last year, with my new years kiss saying im sorry for alot of things. But its just not like that anymore. People can dream and hope for the best but in reality its not always going to happen. No fairy tale endings in this story. You live your life and deal what it throws at you. I took alot of time to reflect on what i wanted in my life. Being a single parent wasnt originally in my plan, but u take the hits in stride with a smile in your face.

I have new years resolutions on how i want to change my life. I should start now, but i rather let 2010 officially be the start. I was told today that a blue moon occurs every 19 years on NYE and to wish for something positive, I am. Here’s to the death of a year that took away alot of our icons, jobs, dreams and to the start of a better time, hopefully. Cheers!

FUCK YOU!

“This city is too small for us, I cant stay. Im packed and ready all ready. Somebody tell em that i’m gone. I’m on tour. I found someplace somewhere and moved away. Its not this bar again. I’ve always hated this place.”